Teachings - Communication: Dismissive
The lesson brought forth by the animal was to mirror for you my brother (Loereve), the signals that you provide to another that are expected to be read properly – the first time. When not read as you expected, another short clue is provided; as the other continues to fail, additional short clues are provided. The other becomes irritated, frustrated, unable to understand that which is being sought by the self – you become defensive and state that you would prefer that the other speak to you in a loving tone, to tell you that they do not understand you, to ask you to explain yourself. The example provided to you of the self – what is provided by the self, when the self is provided with similar leads, shall we say, is one of not love, is one of irritation, frustration, anger. It is not the loving voice that seeks to understand the other; it is not the kind hand outstretched that says, “I seek to understand you”; rather it is the hand that slaps at another, whether literally or figuratively, letting them know the self’s annoyance, that the [other] self has not made the self clear, so that the self can understand that which is being sought from the self. These lessons have been provided to you previously; example has been given that should be easily understood, allowing you to decide whether to continue the behavior or to begin to change it. The animal, as well as those humans around the self, will provide you with adequate opportunity to choose in the very near future.
It is to examine all facets of the self’s communication to determine why the self repeats the self bringing forth the same stories, the same encouragements as has been employed in the past. It is believed that you will find that the emotional body has inhibited the self from understanding the inappropriate nature or the need to discard these suggestions in future.
The emotional body – this influence upon communication is oftentimes extraordinary, for it delivers to another extraordinary need. It is the emotional body that creates the likelihood of faulty thinking, for all thinking is based in emotion, whether the self likes or dislikes that which is being addressed in the moment. The emotional attachment to any thing, person, results in belief that, of course, is found to be faulty when examined closely, for the belief was founded upon emotion – that which can never see clearly; rather, the issue at hand is seen through the rose-colored glasses. The self’s attachment to a person, place or thing creates the likelihood that the belief will be unsound. Emotion is present within communication, informing the other of the self’s desire to be left alone or the self’s deep need to be loved. It is the emotional body that creates the wall - that which may be identified as a wall of defense and protection, to prohibit others from damaging the self. Communication is impeded, interfered with by emotion - fear that the self will be damaged if the self shares too deeply, if the self provides information that is regarded as detrimental - that may pose jeopardy to the self by drawing forth judgment of another.
It is to recognize that confusion is the goal of the emotional body; confused thinking results in the self’s inability to convey the thoughts so that the self may be understood. It is important for the individual that maintains an emotional communication style to pause, to make connection with the heart and the mind prior to speaking and to ask the other if the self has been understood and, indeed if the self has understood the other. It is the influence of the emotional body that seeks immediate response that provides the same reply again and again and again. The self that becomes cognizant of this influence will listen and will ask, “Do I understand what you have just shared with me? This is what I understand.” Hesitation is critical to the individual whose communication is influenced by the emotional body. Am I understood?
Loereve: Could you elaborate for me those unique things that you see – positive or negative - that might be of assistance for me?
I shall. Once again, I shall begin with the positive attributes. You are warm and inviting, ingratiating on occasion, willing to assist when called upon, generous when the emotional body is active, good hearted, desirous of loving and being loved. It is to remember that the self is desirous of loving and of being loved, for in drawing forth this remembrance the self can then mediate the judgments of the self, the pettiness, the inclination to dismiss all that which is judged as not pertaining to the self, the self righteousness that is felt each time that the self becomes uncertain about the direction that need be pursued, yet the self – the not self – refuses to relinquish control to another; all is viewed as control or lack of control by the not-self, which prohibits integration, even the receipt thereof of knowledge that may aid the self in making the change that the heart cries out for, for the not self is busy dismissing, discarding all that which is presented to the self lovingly. The self fails to see the love, for it is exhibited in ways other than what the self demands – the kind, generous, loving, supportive voice that is so rarely exhibited by the self is that which is most desired; rather, the assistance of another is greeted with self-righteousness, with the reply that the self is not in need of advice from another - that this advice indeed does not apply to the self at all, that the self prefers to work out the route most needed by the self. It is important for you to recognize my brother that that which is most desired by the self is that which is rarely provided to another. Do you understand?
Loereve: Yes, please continue.
I ask that you examine your communication with others – the chiding, the jabs that are provided to another to remind them of their past mistakes; it is this that deeply angers the self whenever the self is reminded by another of the self’s past errors, past misjudgments. Do you understand?
Loereve: Yes I do
It is the self-righteousness from the lesson plan of Denial that is being allowed center stage, so to speak; it is for the self to illuminate this behavior. The bristling of the self each time another attempts to aid the self is due to this chiding, this jabbing, provided by the self to others; it is believed by the self that another is doing the same to the self, when indeed the other is merely attempting to aid you, my brother, to see the self in the moment. Do you understand?
Loereve: Yes – that is very helpful.
The inability of the self to truly forgive another is at the root of this behavior. In order to remain self-righteous, in order to remain superior, the self must remind others of their past errors.
Loereve: You mentioned earlier about the lesson of casting off those energies directed to the self from another – could you elaborate on the best way of doing that?
To cast off those energies that are offered to the self by another who is failing to learn is simple my brother – it is to look at the lesson to determine what the other has failed to see and it is to bring to the other’s attention that which is well seen by the self. It is holding the energies in limbo, so to say, until the other can retrieve them. Do you understand?
Loereve: Yes, please continue.
Energies that are sent towards another – those that are comprised of blame, those that are comprised of resentment, anger – energies sent forth to another to damage, for the self feels damaged by the other – if you are the other my brother and someone has sent forth energies of anger, resentment, hatred, blame – rather than withdrawing the self as you are prone to do, you would stand solid and say, “I believe that you are very angry with me and I should like to understand why. What can I do to aid you in recognizing this lesson? Or – could you assist me in understanding what I so obviously have missed?” Do you understand the difference my brother, in the behavior that you currently maintain and what could be achieved with this suggested change?
Loereve: It’s a big difference in what I could and what I have [done].
It is to recognize that the feelings of frustration that you draw forth from others by not adhering to the promise made to another need be addressed, for often the other speaks out of turn, blames the self for something that the self is unaware that the self was responsible for. Do you understand?
Loereve: Yes, I think that that is a lesson that has occurred for me many times.
It is to be heard – this is what others desire – to be heard by you my brother; to hear you say, “I hear you, I understand your need and I am willing to comply. Corrective action shall be taken so that I do not disappoint you in future, for I now recognize that disappointing you results in failure for myself, for it is my word that need be honored. In this way I garner for myself respect in future. It is my deepest desire to do so” – is it not my brother?
Loereve: Yes it is.