Teachings - Rejection
It is to understand that the ego seeks to dismiss all that is presented to the self that is not yet known, not yet understood by the self; for the self believes that the self will be rejected by the other if the self does not have the knowledge that the other currently maintains.
It is important for all with the lesson plan of Denial to understand projection and the power of the self to project that which is felt by the self onto another. It is to understand that this projection prohibits the self from understanding what is truly being stated to the self by another, for when the projection is being interpreted by the mind - “They do not like me…They are angry…Here we go again” – the self is transported back to another space and another time. The self is unable to hear the words being spoken to the self at this time, for the emotional body has been activated by the memories of the past; this is the function of the lesson plan of Rejection. The response typically provided by the student of Denial – one who does not have the lesson plan of Rejection, would be to see the other as an idiot, would be to see the other as a boisterous fool, would be to see another as a bigot – failing each time to see that it is the self that is the idiot, the fool, the bigot. Do you understand?
Loereve: Yes, please continue.
To project that which belongs to the self onto another should be viewed as an asset by the student who is capable of doing so, for it is in this way that the self knows that that which is seen in the behavior of another, genuinely belongs to the self. The self is thereby provided with answer immediately, “It is I who is the idiot. It is I who is the fool. It is I who is the bigot” – and corrective action may be taken in the moment. It is to train the mind to recognize the judgment, for judgment is immediate and often it is the ego that hides the judgment from the self, or that imposes a rightness of being so that the self may continue to expound upon the judgment, thereby increasing its power, thereby increasing the likelihood of karmic calling for the self in future. Negativity seeks negativity – that which is damaged within the self seeks further damage, for it is only once the self has become extremely damaged that the self determines to change.
Do you realize that the energies that are present upon the surface for the self interfere with the opening of the heart, with the speaking of the words to another that the self would most like to state? It is the energy of judgment. It is the assumption of the self that the self will be judged; it is the recognition of the self of the past that is provided with precedence over that which is being experienced in the present, over that which may be experienced in future. It is those experiences of the past my brother (Loereve) – it is your belief, due to judgment, that these same experiences will be had by the self in the present day, as well as in future. The self does not allow others to change - the self does not encourage the self’s change; therefore, the self believes that all experience will be that which has been experienced previously.
Recognition that the self can change and that others are also capable of change will inform the mind to stop making snap assessments, to stop informing the self that that which has occurred in the past is all that can be experienced in the present and in the future. It is to inform the mind that the self is prepared for new experience, that the self is prepared to allow others to be different and that the self can embrace the new experience and draw new conclusion. It is to question the self my brother, when negativity arrives – on what do I base the presence of this negativity? Why am I focused upon that which is negative, rather than shifting the focus to a positive outcome for all? Do you understand my brother, that when negativity arrives, that defense and protection have been called for, that the past interferes with the present, and the self is unable to be different? It is to take notice in the moment my brother and to focus upon the heart, drawing forth the desire of the self to be love and to take action against the defense and the protection that has been erected to prohibit the self from being different this time.
Loereve: Could you elaborate for me those unique things that you see – positive or negative - that might be of assistance for me?
I shall. Once again, I shall begin with the positive attributes. You are warm and inviting, ingratiating on occasion, willing to assist when called upon, generous when the emotional body is active, good hearted, desirous of loving and being loved. It is to remember that the self is desirous of loving and of being loved, for in drawing forth this remembrance the self can then mediate the judgments of the self, the pettiness, the inclination to dismiss all that which is judged as not pertaining to the self, the self righteousness that is felt each time that the self becomes uncertain about the direction that need be pursued, yet the self – the not self – refuses to relinquish control to another; all is viewed as control or lack of control by the not-self, which prohibits integration, even the receipt thereof of knowledge that may aid the self in making the change that the heart cries out for, for the not self is busy dismissing, discarding all that which is presented to the self lovingly. The self fails to see the love, for it is exhibited in ways other than what the self demands – the kind, generous, loving, supportive voice that is so rarely exhibited by the self is that which is most desired; rather, the assistance of another is greeted with self-righteousness, with the reply that the self is not in need of advice from another - that this advice indeed does not apply to the self at all, that the self prefers to work out the route most needed by the self. It is important for you to recognize my brother that that which is most desired by the self is that which is rarely provided to another. Do you understand?
Loereve: Yes, please continue.
I ask that you examine your communication with others – the chiding, the jabs that are provided to another to remind them of their past mistakes; it is this that deeply angers the self whenever the self is reminded by another of the self’s past errors, past misjudgments. Do you understand?
Loereve: Yes I do
It is the self-righteousness from the lesson plan of Denial that is being allowed center stage, so to speak; it is for the self to illuminate this behavior. The bristling of the self each time another attempts to aid the self is due to this chiding, this jabbing, provided by the self to others; it is believed by the self that another is doing the same to the self, when indeed the other is merely attempting to aid you, my brother, to see the self in the moment. Do you understand?
Loereve: Yes – that is very helpful.
The inability of the self to truly forgive another is at the root of this behavior. In order to remain self-righteous, in order to remain superior, the self must remind others of their past errors.
It is February the 12th, 2012. It is the four of us and we are going to focus upon the line energies of Shame. Shame - it’s a disgusting, vile lesson plan. [All laugh.]
Student: Nothing like a metaphorical teaching.
It is probably one of the most dreaded lesson plans because it seeks to damage. It is provided to those who have struggled to vocalize what the self thinks, what the self feels in previous lifetimes. It is the lesson plan that teaches the student how to be present physically and how to inflict damage emotionally. The positive aspects of Shame can be drawn from the opposites just mentioned; it allows the individual to get the energies outside of the body because all is vocalized. If it is thought, if it is believed, it will be imposed upon another and the other will be tested severely by the student with Shame to stand up for the self, to say “No thank you” to the offerings and to continue forth to be the self even though the force of will of the other is extraordinary.
It’s a great service that is provided by those students of Shame. It’s important to recognize that the student of Shame rarely has major physical maladies due to energies being maintained within the body, until the student steps forth and takes the hand of the Teacher, seeking to walk the path once again. This isn’t to say that there are no physical problems; it is to say that they are typically not severe in nature because the student has eliminated these energies, they have spent them, they have spewed them, they have shared them - they have gotten them outside of the self’s bodies.
To recognize the qualities of Shame is to survey the other. It’s to ask the self the questions: “Are they attempting to damage me? Do I feel that they go for the jugular? Have I exposed my weakness or did they expose my weakness? Do I feel that their attention is unjustified? Do I feel them scratching at my door to learn more about me privately so that it can be used in future against me?”
It is to recognize the difference in quality – the reason why the other seeks the self’s company. If the lesson plan is Denial, it is to garner information, the seeking of knowledge that the self can provide; similar reasons exist for Separation. Repression is not typically drawn to the lesson plan of Shame for information; there is an easy friendship, an easy relationship can be enjoyed, for Shame recognizes Repression and Repression recognizes the accelerated energies of Shame and is wise enough to steer clear of controversy. Guilt and Rejection are the victims often for the student with the lesson plan of Shame. Rejection must learn to stand on the own two feet, to be the self at all cost – the self that is unconditional love. Shame feeds the victim that belongs to Guilt, providing it with ample ammunition in future, telling others how the self has been victimized, how the self has been damaged, to garner the sympathy of others, for it is fuel to the victim.
There is no need to make an excuse for having the correct answer my brother, in order to make others feel more comfortable that they responded incorrectly. Do you see the pattern to diminish the self so that others feel more comfortable? This then pursues the maltreatment by the other of the self for you have invited such by diminishing your ability to see truth, to understand that which lies in front of you. Do you understand?
Loereve: Yes. Thank you for that observation.
It is a dichotomy is it not my brother that when others are feeling badly you determine to diminish the self to make them feel better and at other times you strive to show all that the self is righteous.
Loereve: I would agree - it is.
It is to understand the lesson plan my brother. What lesson plan do you think is the source of the diminishment of the self in order to allow another to feel superior to the self?
Loereve: The very first thought to my mind was Rejection.
And the specific lesson plan, my brother?
Loereve: The Supporter
Indeed. Please repeat.
Loereve: The Supporter
Indeed. Please repeat.
Loereve: The Supporter
It is to understand the lesson plan of the Supporter my brother, for you invite the scorn of others by diminishing the self at critical times when respect, when honor could be earned for the self. Do you understand?
Loereve: Yes, thank you.
It is to feel as an equal partner to all who stand opposite the self my brother, to recognize that the self is capable of changing the self’s thinking, of changing the self’s way of being that demands diminishment, dishonor, disrespect, scorn of another for the self. It is then that you flounder, failing to understand why the other thinks so little of the self when the self believes the self to be loving and supportive of the other. Do you understand?
Loereve: Hmm. Yeah, I see that - thank you.
Disingenuousness is often spotted with you my brother. When you feel that another is diminishing the self you unwisely stoke the fires belonging to the ego, telling the other that you accept and that you love them as they are, rather than utilizing the opportunity to say “That is a marvelous discovery you have made. I shall look at myself to see if I am suffering similarly.” Do you understand?
Loereve: Yes, thank you.
Our brother Loereve frequently speaks from the mind, from a position of confusion, for the self intermittently pays attention to the other. When the self senses that the self will be called upon for answer, the answer is formulated in the mind – it is replayed again and again and again and the self becomes anxious to provide the response before the self forgets. It is for this reason that when the other stops speaking and our brother Loereve responds, he rarely answers the question put to him. Would you agree with my assessment my brother Loereve?
Loereve: Yes I would
It is the fear of being rejected; it is the fear of looking, appearing to be less than. It is the desire to please the other that is dominant in the mind. Am I correct my brother Loereve?
Loereve: I’d say that’s a pretty good assessment – yes
It is to listen to the other completely and to engage the heart to listen – with heart and mind actively connected; to release all fear that the self will look to be a fool [or] if the self does not have the answer that the self will cull disfavor, displeasure from the other. By listening with the heart and the mind, the self is capable of stating to another, “I am uncertain. I find that to be intriguing; I, too, am curious – I would like to pursue that. I shall look into it. I would love to discuss this with you once again.” Do you understand?
Loereve: Yes, please continue.
It is to understand that the ego seeks to dismiss all that is presented to the self that is not yet known, not yet understood by the self; for the self believes that the self will be rejected by the other if the self does not have the knowledge that the other currently maintains. Does this resonate with you my brother?
Loereve: Very much so
It is to bear in mind that the self is capable of teaching another, for there is a great depth of knowledge within; knowledge that cannot be shared from the mind, knowledge that can only be shared when the heart is actively connected with the mind, for it is then that the heart draws forth exactly what the other needs in the moment, aiding them greatly in the moment, rather than providing them with data that is of little to no service. Do you understand?
Loereve: Yes
My suggestion for you, my brother, is to engage the heart when listening to another, to engage the heart when speaking to another. It is to apprise the self of the machinations of the self’s lesson plan, to understand the actions of the ego, so that the self can be cognizant of the ego’s presence; for this identification, this recognition provides opportunity to the self to be different in this moment, thereby increasing the self’s ability to be different the next and the next and the next time until the shift becomes automatic.
To trust the self more than the self trusts another – would you say that this is a worthy goal, my brother Sol An Ka?
Sol: Yes I do
My brother Loereve?
Loereve: I think it would be a prerequisite because often if you cannot trust yourself then you quite often cannot trust another.
These are words my brother. Are they wisdom for you?
Loereve: Sometimes yes, sometimes no. My biggest failings have been when it is sometimes no.
Would you say that the ‘sometimes no’ is greater or less than the ‘sometimes yes’?
Loereve: I would say greater.
It is to listen to the words closely, to draw them into the mind, to take them beyond knowledge, “I shall trust myself primarily. I shall ask others for assistance always. I shall then share my own thinking with the other and invite them to show me where my thinking has faltered.”
It is disagreement I am lodging with you my brother Loereve, for you trust the self beyond all others. You do not expose the thinking to another that you believe will be disagreed with. Am I correct?
Loereve: Yes, you are.
It is this safe harbor that the ego has utilized for many lifetimes; the judgment that another will make personal your failing rather than finding it to be of interest, rather than being desirous of discussion, rather than learning each from each. These thoughts rarely occur to you my brother, for you feel that all will be personal, that the self will be attacked, that the self will be rejected. Do you agree?
Loereve: Yes, I believe you are correct.
It is to recognize my brother Loereve, that the trust has been placed with the ego. The true self – that portion of the self that is humble – is only allowed to come forth once the self believes that resignation is necessary. Am I correct?
Loereve: As far as I can tell, yes.
Open the heart my brother.
Recognizing that the ego only allows the self to speak that which is tried and true, that which has been utilized in the past. Do you understand my words?
Loereve: Yes I do.
When you are resigning, the same words tumble forth, the same knowledge brought front and center, regurgitated for the other so that the boundary may be laid, prohibiting the self from feeling in the moment that which need be felt, for the ego is busy rebuilding the perimeter that has been damaged by the other. The words are repeated by the ego. The self believes that the self understands and assistance is cut short. The ego has won once again. The perimeter has been rebuilt; the next and the next and the next shall have the same equal difficulty getting inside - in an attempt to aid you, in an attempt to clear the vision so that you may see that your trust has been placed with the ego. Do you understand my words, my brother Loereve?
Loereve: Yes I do. I haven’t really looked at it like that but that’s a very succinct way of putting it. Thank you.
Do you understand the words I have spoken to our brother Loereve, my brother Sol An Ka?
Sol: Yes I do. Thank you.
Do you see yourself?
Sol: Yes I do.
What is it that you see my brother?
Sol: I see that I sometimes trust myself too much and that I don’t seek an evaluation of what I believe from the other and to accept whatever faults they may find in my logic or in my belief. And I tend to want to override them and stay with what I believe is the truth and therefore, I miss the opportunity to join with another and I miss the opportunity to have help in refining what it is that I found initially within myself, within my ego. I believe that I’ve gotten better about seeking assistance from other people but I have a way to go. I know that. I am complete with my answer.
It is important my brother for you to see yourself, to see yourself at all times, particularly when you are attempting to convince another that no error has been made on your part or that you are being blamed inappropriately or that you feel accused or that you feel defense and protection have suddenly become vital to your survival. It is to recognize that viewpoints are opinion – they are not truth; often they are not even the truth of the individual speaking. Do you understand?
Sol: Yes I do. Thank you.
It is important for you to approach all things objectively, for that is indeed the goal of all students – to be the student prepared for debate.