mountain tops - PTH is like climbing a mountain until you see the light

The Path to Healing

Teachings - Shame (lesson plan)

The character is merely fabrication - the personality, the behaviors, the characteristics that are attributed to the persona that the self believes is more successful than that which is maintained by the true self. Lifetime after lifetime the personality has garnered these morsels, these behaviors, characteristics that are comfortable - so comfortable in fact they are exhibited lifetime after lifetime. As our sister has mentioned the character of the “Hot Babe” - it is the character that dishonors and disrespects others, that diminishes others by believing, exuding the persona that sexual energy can control another, that it is the desire of the self to control another by drawing forth sexual energies. Lifetime after lifetime was invested in this behavior my sister, including this lifetime; it has not been terribly successful for you, although you’ve been provided with story that it was. It was the ego that was fed; it was the self that readily embraced that the self was indeed successful - the self was not. The self lost the life several times due to these behaviors. It is important for you to recognize that the lesson plan of Shame has been provided to you, so that you can recognize these behaviors – casting them aside, understanding that failure is imminent, whenever these energies are employed to control another.

The character is created by the individual; it could be characteristics, behaviors that have been drawn forth from previous lifetime, or it could simply be behaviors that have been observed by the self in childhood - those behaviors that were successful for another that have been adopted by the self. It is as with the self that chooses to walk another’s path – the behaviors that have been embraced for the self that do not belong to the self are rarely successful. All behaviors that are embraced that do not belong to the self are referred to as characters. It is to recognize that the lesson plan provides behaviors and characteristics to the self in the current lifetime to make certain that the lessons are indeed drawn forth for the self so that the self may learn. Behaviors and characteristics that are drawn forth from previous lifetimes become characters, for they do not truly belong to the self in the current lifetime. They are what is referred to as the composite – those behaviors that have remained with the self; the self is drawn to particular behaviors, as our sister has been with the misuse of sexual energy. It is important to understand that the behaviors and characteristics provided to the self in the current lifetime are indeed characters, for the true self does not maintain these energies. The character is merely a facet of the ego.

Student: I have one picture in my head that just won’t go away. I’m a little kid, standing at the bottom of the stairs in my parents house in Brooklyn, and my father, I think it is, is screaming in my face that I’m a liar, and I’m terrified. I’m absolutely positive in that moment that he’s going to kill me. I was afraid to tell the truth, so I lied and then I got screamed at for lying and I don’t even remember what I did, but I remember him screaming at me and I remember just being terrified. A lot of woundings like that, but that was the one that just won’t go away.

It was the moment of choice, my sister; you could have chosen in that moment to speak truth or to become a liar once again in this lifetime. What was your choice my sister?

Student: Well, when he was yelling at me I had already lied. I’d already lied.

Did you correct the lie?

Student: I think so. I think I did. At least that one anyway.

Are you certain my sister?

Student: No, because it didn’t stop me from lying; I have lied my whole life - one thing or another - I told stories, especially to my parents, especially with myself.

Do you understand how this relates to the teaching provided prior to this session? That the self chose to protect, to defend the ego, for it was the ego that was telling the self you would be damaged. The ego does not recognize that another is angered when the self is dishonored, disrespected, their intelligence insulted, when one provides the self with lies – purposefully – and then lies once again to defend the lie. Do you understand?

Student: Yes. I do.

Choice was provided to you at an early age to admit that the self had chosen incorrectly and to ask for forgiveness, to state that the self will change in future - will be different. Do you understand?

Student: I do. I’m working on it.

It is to recognize that the self’s choice to continue to choose those things, those responses of the lesson plan are those that triggered the responses of the other’s lesson plan. Do you understand?

Student: I’m not sure. I was a little kid. I was four.

I am not asking the child to understand, my sister. I’m asking the adult - do you understand?

Student: If I understand correctly, then my choice to not tell the truth triggered the lesson plan of say, my parent, to react the way they did.

That is correct.

Student: So the wounding that I received was my own fault, generated by my own behavior.

The wounding received my sister, was that which was planned and was enforced by the lesson plan.

Student: Agreed to by both.

You are correct.

Did you indeed, my sister?

Student: Do better? No. Apparently not.

Did you – believe – that you were doing better?

Student: I told myself that I was doing better.

Was it the self telling the self, truly and indeed? You were provided with warning on more than one occasion by Te’ Auna - that you were seeking to reward the self when the self had yet to earn reward. Do you understand?

Student: Yes. I’m struggling with that in a big way.

Indeed. For while the self promotes to others that the self is unworthy, the self feels unworthy, the self feels less than - in actuality, the self is constantly feeding the self. Do you recognize this dichotomy my sister?

Student: Yes. It’s very frustrating.

It need not be frustrating at all. It is to understand the lesson plan, to focus upon the behaviors, to understand the characters - the frustration is circumvented by understanding. Do you understand?

Student: Yes I do. Thank you.

It is the voracious appetite of the ego - the damaged portion of the self, a portion of the self that has always told the self that you were better than. It remains voracious, does it not my sister?

Student: Yes. It does.

Seeking confirmation from all around the self that the self is better, the self is better than, the self is indeed the best. Do you understand?

Student: Yes.

It is lies told to the self by the damaged portion of the self to promote failure in future, for the self is merely fooling the self. Do you understand?

Student: Yes. I do.

When you allow the ego to focus upon the teacher, to judge the teacher, you are choosing the ego my sister. Do you understand?

Student: Yes. I do.

If this is your choice, the teacher will be withdrawn. Do you understand?

Student: Yes. It’s not my choice. It’s not what I want to do.

It is the starting point - for you to begin to overrule the ego - at least in this area, my sister - with consistency; otherwise it is a waste of time to continue forth. Do you understand?

Student: I do. Thank you. I commit to change. I will dedicate my self to change.

You will fail – otherwise. It is impossible for you, my sister, to change if you cannot at least change with the teacher, for it is the opening that is needed, that must be enlarged. If you forbid the opening, then change cannot be effected. Do you understand?

Student: I do. Welcome the opening of the heart, yes? Welcome the pain? Welcome the fear?

Recognizing that the self is feeling no thing that has not been felt by those surrounding the self at this moment lightens the load, my sister; it is why you have been brought here. It would be impossible for you to walk this path otherwise. Do you agree?

Student: Yes. I agree.

It is to recognize that the self holds the self apart, that the self condemns, that the self judges. If the self cannot open with these three… do you understand my sister?

Student: I do.

I need not complete the sentence?

Student: I do understand.

Honesty is most difficult for you, my sister, for you have yet to recognize that the self is dishonest most of the time - with the self first and foremost; thereby, resulting in dishonesty with others - it is inescapable. Do you understand?

Student: Yes.

When the self lies to the self, it is to feed the unhealed portion of the self. Do you understand?

Student: Yes.

It is as Te’ Auna told you earlier - be suspect of any kudos; refuse the self kudos, congratulations, rewards. It is to recognize the battle is uphill and that the self need commit and dedicate the self, starving the unhealed portion of the self, recognizing that it has been well fed through this and many, many, many previous lifetimes. It is service that will promote its starvation - service that seeks no recompense, service that seeks no reward, nor even thank you.

It is not believed that you will have difficulty in forgiving yourself my sister. Do you understand this statement?

Student: No

It is the ego that has you convinced that you are unable to forgive yourself; you are just beginning to realize the damage that you have done. Do you understand?

Student: I see

Forgiveness of the self is not on the near horizon for you my sister, for recognition of the self’s behaviors, the self’s actions, need be made – understanding need be garnered. It is then that forgiveness is provided. To forgive the self prior to achieving understanding indicates that the lesson will be scheduled for you once again in future and shall be failed once again. Do you understand?

Student: I would prefer not to go there; I would prefer to get it done now.

The purpose of this conversation my sister is to indicate to you that you have embraced the story of the ego – that the self is unable to forgive another because the self cannot forgive the self. It is to state to you with emphasis that the self is not concerned truly about being able to forgive the self. The self is desirous of elimination of these feelings. The first step is to forgive another. The first step is to forgive another. The first step, my sister, is to forgive another by recognizing the damage that has been done by the self, whether in similar fashion or differently is of no consequence. Do you understand?

Student: Where do you suggest I begin?

To recognize that it is lesson – failed lesson – that causes the self to damage another, to recognize that the self is not the only self that has failed lesson. It is to step forth and to say, “I have been damaged by your actions” – to explain to the other how the self has been damaged; for it is in the explanation that the self will begin to see that the self has damaged others in similar fashion. Do you see, my sister, that by not speaking, not extending this information to another but rather, providing the other with the false face – one that says, “Yes, of course I forgive you” – that the self has failed to do the work necessary for true understanding?

Student: I see that now. Thank you. Is there a particular situation that you would like me to begin with?

The judgments will guide you my sister. When you find that you are thinking of another, when you find that you are speaking of another negatively, the starting point has been provided to you.

Denial does not believe in apology because Denial is superior and arrogant; Denial does no wrong – it is the other, always, that need be focused upon. If apology is necessary, it is obvious that the other misunderstood or that the other asked the self a query inappropriately, causing the self to misspeak. Forgiveness is not extended by one who cannot recognize that damage has been imposed upon another due to the self’s blindness - if there is no damage, then apology is unnecessary and forgiveness completely unneeded.

It is the lesson plan of Shame that makes forgiveness neigh onto impossible, for Shame is contemptuous, Shame is diminishing - Shame believes that the grudge must be maintained, so that all may see that the other is less than the self.

Separation - highly mental…if understanding can be achieved, forgiveness is readily extended; if understanding cannot be achieved, forgiveness is withheld.

The lesson plan of Guilt blames if the self has suffered and, the self or another is blamed for this suffering, the self is unable to see that all is lesson that each experiencing are intended to learn. Forgiveness is often difficult for the individual who blames another, for like Shame, the grudge is preferred; the self believes, “I need remember this so that it never happens to me again. If I forgive, I may forget – that shall never happen.”

These are the lessons that are part of your lesson plan my sister. It is to take these understandings into meditation and to seek assistance for those components of the core beliefs that prohibit the self from extending true forgiveness to another.

I come to you this day to bring forth the next layer – that which is most needed to be revealed so that you may address it as you have promised to do. Who are you to come before me at this time?

Student: No one - just a seeker, just a being that wants to go home…be home, heal, serve.

You are someone or you would not be before me my student; to say that the self is no one tells me that you have failed to recognize the significance of this event. It is important for you to recognize that you are indeed some one – an individual consciousness who has stepped forth and determined to illuminate all that which lies within, all that which prohibits the self from gaining altitude, shall we say…momentum – that which propels the self forward upon the spiritual path as it is known here upon this planet. Do you understand?

Student: I do.

The teachings that you received previous, while within the group known as the coven, need be forgotten, need be cast aside, for these teachings all focused upon darkness and the answers that you so readily provide are those that focus upon darkness…the student who is striving to become darkness in total. Do you understand?

Student: I think so…not totally.

As time passes you will become more informed; for the time present, I ask you to survey the answers that you prepare to give to determine…does that feel right? Say to me once again, my student, that “I am no one.” Feel it. Say it aloud, please.

Student: I am no one. Nope…that doesn’t feel right.

Say it again. Student: I am no one.

Say it again. Student: I am no one.

Again. Student: I am no one.

What are you feeling?

Student: Kind of sick…a little queasy…hot.

It is to understand that you have embraced many things about the self - due to the teachings presented to you previously - that are faulty, that are focused upon achieving confusion, that are focused upon creating an atmosphere of “better than”, that are focused upon competition, that are focused upon viewing others contemptuously; for if you are “no one” with the skills that you hold, who is this other who does not maintain the skill level that you have achieved? Do you understand?

Student: Yes

We are all someone my student.

Student: It’s false humility, isn’t it?


To understand is the goal; to understand the Self, to recognize that others are placed before you to show you that which lies within the self or that which is desirous of being implanted within the self. It is the ego that diminishes the one that is brought to the self that shows the self that which is possible. Those who are kind and gentle are recognized as weak and undesirable. Those who are tentative, uncertain are recognized as those to be dominated, controlled. Those who fail to detect the weaknesses of the self are those that the ego determines to prey upon, to use, to abuse, and to then throw away. It is for you my sister, to survey the landscape to determine those others that have been brought to you – that are kind, that are gentle, that are uncertain, that are tentative, that are supportive and caring – to see how the darkness within you destroyed your desire to implant these attributes within the self by sullying them, by making them unpalatable.

For it is kindness, it is gentleness, it is uncertainty that need be implanted within the self; for uncertainty is that which allows another to be the self without your self charging forth to tell the other what they need do, how they need be, how they should proceed, how they should have responded. Uncertainty can be coupled with humility, which states, “I do not know what would be most appropriate for another, for I am uncertain what lesson has been brought forth by their Teacher.” It is to ask questions, it is to provide the self’s experience alone, stating, “This has been my experience but my lessons could be completely different from yours and therefore, your response, your action may indeed be completely different from mine and still be successful.”

It is to understand that your calling to lay the hands upon another should never be done until the self has eliminated negativity sufficiently to make certain that the self does not impose negative energies upon another; for it is the ego that states the self is healing another…the true self knows that the other heals the self. The self merely provides the other with energies that need be positive, untainted – that the self’s Teacher can then take and utilize to aid the other. The other’s Teacher never requires another human in order to gain, to garner energies to aid their self; it is the process of karmic calling that is honored, that your energy will be provided to another, to aid them in healing, for it is the self that has damaged others. It is then your responsibility to refill the positive energies utilized for another, so that they may be used again for the next and then the next and then the next individual. The self who fails to refuel the positive stores ends up draining the energy fields that are needed for the self. It is through lesson integration that positive energies are realized.

It is Barbed communication that enables the self to easily identify the student of this lesson plan – the individual described by our sister (student) earlier was an obvious candidate for this communication style; it is to diminish all that are spoken to, it is to put in their proper place all that have been judged to be inferior – which will be a majority of others that are not like the self.

Sol: Do I understand correctly that you said that the energies of the composite self fuel the current life’s lesson plan…not the exact words but the concept?

I did not mention that at all my brother; rather, I stated that the energies were drawn forth of all previous lifetime lesson failures. It is of course these energies that fuel the lesson plan. Do you understand my brother that it is your mind that takes the data received by another and translates it? It is then the other that often suffers based on the translation that your mind provides you.

Sol: Yes I understand that – thank you.

It is to recognize that the mind is desirous of assisting you; providing this service is indeed a positive action but could certainly be viewed negatively. Do you understand?

Sol: Would you expand on that please?

Indeed. I, of course, did not suffer. I benefitted by the translation that you provided; however, those surrounding the self the majority of the time fall victim to the translation of the mind – the mind which hears, draws forth conclusion, and then informs the other that the translation provided to you by the mind is actually what was stated by the other. Do you understand?

Sol: Yes and I had an example of that today. Thank you…at least one example.

It is important to recognize that the mind is indeed your partner my brother.

Sol: I have a question.

Should you seek equal partnership, you must step forth and begin to recognize that which is being provided to you by the mind. Do you understand?

Sol: Yes, I understand that in principle – how do I train my mind to provide me with exactly what was said by the other?

It is to listen closely my brother, to forbid analysis until the other has completed the self’s statement. Do you understand?

Sol: Yes, thank you.

It is the negative view that must be understood as the urging of the composite self – that portion of the self that is never satisfied, that does not receive the appropriate attention, that has never been endorsed as fully as the self believes the self should have been. Do you understand?

Sol: Yes, thank you.

It is to recognize that this thinking was promoted to you and embraced by you, utilizing the energies of the lesson plan of Shame. Do you understand?

Sol: Yes, I do now. Thank you.

The engagement of Self-distrust – it is distrust of the self that is felt deeply that drives the self to accuse all others of not being trustworthy, of not being capable, of being a destructive force in the self’s life. It is failure to see the self – to see that it is indeed the self that cannot be trusted, it is indeed the self that is a destructive force in other’s lives. All is as it should be. This lesson plan is one that serves all others and the student of Shame and all other energies that emanate from this parent energy need remind the self of the service that is being provided.

We shall begin with the Theme to further illustrate the line energies – the theme TO ADMIT – to admit that the self is indeed the self’s lesson plan, that even though the self cannot yet see all components, all behaviors, all characteristics within the self’s behaviors, within the self’s responses – the self is willing to admit that all lies within, that all has been concealed from others and therefore, it has become concealed from the self. To admit that it is the self’s thinking that is the cause of most negative interactions, to admit that the self is not in control of the self, of the self’s thinking, of the self’s speaking, of the energies that are cast out upon others that damage purposefully. For the student who fails to admit that all these things are possible continues to damage others, continues to garner karma and is forbidden entry to the path by the Teacher, until the self steps forth and begins to admit that the self needs assistance, that the self is out of control and needs guidance, so that control of the self becomes primary.

To feel is difficult with the lesson plan of Shame, for the self is focused upon the self completely – the self has forgone the pain that the self has so readily inflicted upon another. The self judges others who do the same, failing to embrace that the mirror is being employed to show the self the self, so that change may be chosen before further pain is inflicted upon another. The self that has yet to recognize the self in the mirror is one who continues to impose judgment upon those who suffer similarly to that which has been experienced by the self.

It is important for all to understand that when the self shares of the self with another with emotion that the other learns - that when story is provided from the mind and it’s in a singsong voice - and it really is without care, without concern, “I said this; they said that” - the other has not learned, the other is not provided with opportunity to experience, the other could be reading it from a page. The experience has not touched the heart; it stays with the mind. It is to understand that when the self shares of the self with another it must come from the heart, for the heart draws forth feeling. It says, “This is what I feel, this is how I felt - desperate, dark, overwhelmed. I needed a shoulder to cry upon and she was there for me. It was magnificent, for I cannot recall ever being in the state of mind that she was, and being able to change and support another as she supported me.”

It is to look at the roommate and to see, “He is half my age; I have much to teach him. He has a good heart, he has a good mind, he is a good friend and I am arguing with him over a few dollars of product, rather than teaching him what my decades of experience have taught me through my grasping of another’s [possessions] - my failure to be grateful, my failure to replace.” It is to “make another pay” that is still with you my sister, rather than embracing that the lesson to be provided by another should be paid for by the self, for there are many, many, many behind the self that have paid for the self’s lessons. You believe you are a generous person, but you are not.

Student: No, I don’t believe I’m generous. Actually, I’m selfish and self-centered and I know that.

It is to focus upon judgment versus recognition, to say to the self, “I recognize that I have been selfish. It is this that I seek to change. I shall try to be generous at least once each day, whether it is with my time, my service, or simply with my love.” The goal for all students is to recognize that there is great debt upon the self’s ledger. Many have aided the self to learn. As the self learns it is time to start checking off some of those debts by investing in those around the self that suffer similar unawareness as that which belonged to the self. Are there questions regarding this teaching?

Student: Not at this time, thank you. I will learn to communicate appropriately. I will practice.

I do not desire for you to practice my sister; you are well practiced already.

Student: Then what would you like me to do?

I seek for you to focus upon the heart. When I ask you a question, focus upon the heart, allow the answer to come forth and then provide it to me without varnish. Do you understand?

Student: I do. Very well. I will do that. I will focus on doing that - only that.