Habit versus addiction – it is to understand the difference my sister (student). You are in the habit of feeding the self - feeding the self food, alcohol, drugs, attention, praise, glory, feeding the self sexually, pleasuring the self in all ways - while maintaining the belief that the self is deprived, the self has very little that another would covet. This is the belief of the self. As long as the self endorses this belief, the hunger shall continue to grow. It is to recognize the story my sister – that the self has had very little, that the self has suffered greatly, that the self has rarely had what the self wants or needs. As long as the self embraces the story, as long as the self continues to tell the story, the self’s hunger will continue to grow. It is my suggestion that you ponder this and take it into meditation; for until the self recognizes the behavior that stokes the flame of hunger, the self cannot begin to change.

It is focus upon the pain that endorses the pain…the self relies upon story to maintain the feeling that the self has been damaged, that the self has suffered. It is when you look at the experience impartially, as the objective observer, that you will begin to see that you too had a period each month, my sister - yours was far more protracted than the other’s; those times when you felt joyous is when the other mirrored your behaviors back to you, in hope that you would see, you would begin to understand the darkness that was present for the self the majority of the time. It was the unhealed portion of the self that convinced the self that it was the other, never the self. Failure to see the self has plagued you, my sister. Possibility has been presented for this to be different in future. It is willingness that need greet the knowledge, for if the self is willing to see the self, the Teacher will draw forth adequate example for the self to be seen.

Recognition of the path is difficult for the student who has hidden the truth from the self for the majority of the life experience; for when this is prevalent, the self has done so for many lifetimes – this means that the self has become proficient at hiding all things from the self, as well as from others. This hiding began when the self tried to fit in with others and it became habit as the self became the story, the character that had been created to make the self more acceptable to the self as well as to others. When the self first begins to see the self, it is typically with horror, shock, dismay, followed by, oftentimes, anger, sorrow, depression; for the self cannot believe that the self failed for so long to see the self that others had so clearly seen, had so clearly identified for the self. Yet, the self batted away the words of all others who attempted to aid the self to know and to heal the self, which cannot occur until the self has been seen.

It is to receive all data without judgment - to notate that which has been received, recording it, viewing it, from many different directions to determine who benefits? One body or all bodies…the ego…or the self that is seeking aggressively to know, to understand, and to heal the self. The ego has a spiritual character that you are fully cognizant, my sister; this spiritual character is devious and is desirous of foiling forward progress. It will tell you whatever it believes you wish to hear. It will tell you what it has heard you say to another, whether true or false. It is important to understand who benefits, for if it’s the ego, it is not the Self of divinity that has been contacted.

Seeking purposefully guidance, counsel, from the inner Teacher draws forth that which is most needed by the student at this time. It is important to recognize that the ego is desirous of distraction, is supportive of story - is supportive, in fact, of anything that prohibits progress. The habits of the self have been built by the ego. It is for the student to recognize that which is damaging to the self’s progress and to begin to effect change.

It is for all to recognize that the heart has not been damaged, that the heart is not closed, that the heart is capable of feeling. It is the mind that interprets the feeling. It is the mind that believes it has been damaged. It is to recognize the programming of the mind. It is to begin to rewrite the story. It is to encourage the self to review all experience of an emotional nature and to explain to the self why the lesson was necessary, why the self interpreted suffering or pain, damage to the heart. Without this evaluation, the mind cannot grasp that it has inappropriately assessed that which has been experienced. It is the mind that requires the focus of the student.

It is to trust the Teacher my sister (student), to recognize that that which is most important is being drawn forth to you time after time after time and when the time is most appropriate you will begin to recognize and you will begin to shift the behaviors due to this influence. It is the ego that is desirous of focusing outside of that which is desired most by the Teacher; it is to not second-guess the Teacher my sister – to focus upon that which is being brought forth to the self, to integrate wholly that which has been brought forth until the next and the next and the next issue has been brought to light for resolution.

It is to recognize the lesson plan, it is to draw forth the memories that are placed within pictures for the self and to categorize the behavior based upon the lesson plan; it is to maintain this running chart so that the picture of the self becomes clearer with each memory, so that the picture of the self becomes more complete and the story that has been created by the self – of who the self believed the self to be – can then be destroyed, for its falseness prohibits forward movement.

It is to be honest – you know what is story my sister (student); you have been manufacturing it for the better part of this lifetime. You know all story within the self’s repertoire because the feeling that is on the surface tells you, “this is story” and, “if I’m questioned I will be irritated, frustrated, angry”…that is story – that which need be protected, defended. It is to tell him how he can recognize this in another, to counsel him, for he is not versed in the ways of those who use others purposefully, with malice aforethought. Brother Loereve has used others as well – he leans upon them too heavily but it is not with malice aforethought; it is not uncaringly, it is not without remorse when it is brought to the self’s attention.

The lesson will not be integrated until the self has embraced the self’s behaviors completely, recognizing the self’s role, recognizing that the self has repeated the same behaviors time after time after time. The self has been provided with information about past lives in order to aid the self; rather, the self prided the self in the behaviors of the self in previous lifetimes. Rather than finding the behaviors to be abhorrent, the self prided the self in the self’s sexual prowess, continuing to cultivate such in the current lifetime, rather than seeing the error in the self’s way. This is the lesson plan of Shame; choice was provided to you early on my sister – you chose the path of darkness once again. It is now a lifetime of karma that has been garnered for you once again; it is my deepest desire to aid you in overcoming this lesson in this lifetime.

It is to recognize that it is the mind that prohibits progress for the self. It is to understand that the Teacher cannot aid the student if the student is not focused upon understanding the mind. The mind – the source of all story that demands defense and protection; the mind – the source of pain, suffering; the mind – the source of demands made under the guise of the physical body. It is the mind that is most difficult for the student to train, to recognize its myriad tricks and to abort them by stating, “I shall be focused. I shall prohibit thinking of this sort. I shall experience spiritually.” This cannot occur until the mind has been trained, quieted, for the mind seeks the attention of the self at all times.

It is to watch, to observe the mind - to spend 20 or 30 minutes every day sitting with a pad and pencil, closing the eyes and observing the mind, notating each experience - closing the eyes once again, waiting for the mind to interfere with the quiet that has been suggested by the inner Teacher. It is this quiet – once the self is able to truly quiet the mind – that the inner Teacher thrives within; for it is now that the inner Teacher can be heard. Prior to the self’s ability to quiet the mind, it is the mind indeed that speaks to the self. Those students with lesson plans focused upon the intellect have the greatest degree of difficulty in quieting the mind, for the mind is always thinking, thinking, thinking - observing, solving, fixing. It is the self that must be firm, that must find that which is regarded as ‘magic’ for the self, to quiet the mind and to recognize that it could take months, potentially years, of use prior to the self experiencing true quieting of the mind.

As negative energies are released from the bodies, quieting of the mind becomes far more likely; it is for the student to satisfy the self with a few moments of restive thinking, of peace, listening to the music that the self finds opens the heart and to recognize that it is the ego that speaks to the self until the majority of the lessons have been learned. The ego – the unhealed portion of the self – it merely reiterates the story that has been constructed by the self again and again and again, until the story has been addressed directly, until it has been revealed as false, until the new story has been written. Failure to pay attention to that which is being stated within the mind ensures that these thoughtforms shall remain; all things need be addressed – all things need be addressed directly. If the self cannot resolve that which is being stated to the self, the physical teacher need be engaged to assist the self. It is important for each to seek outwardly for assistance.